


I didn't even get to say goodbye

by tasibi



Series: It's 3 AM again [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A what couldve happened in Shiros absence, Angst and Tragedy, Cutting, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Keithe cries, Lance committed suicide, Langst, Shiro is a clone here, Space is cold, Unconscious Verbal Abuse, everyone is sad, im sorry, slightly OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 01:32:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12570720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tasibi/pseuds/tasibi
Summary: Space is cold.(Or; I made a fanfic of a short one shot called "Lances Journal")





	I didn't even get to say goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> If you are thinking of doing anything like Lance did, please, talk to someone. Be it a professional, parent, friend, even Me! It feels better and you are worth so much more then you think. Please, don't do it.

Hunk was still positively fuming, if he were a cartoon character he probably would have steam coming out of his ears and a tomato red face. But, Hunk was guilty, he still remembered the deep, searing,  _hurt_ in Lances eyes when he slapped him, told him he was useless. He regretted it, he did, truly he did, they  _are_ best friends after all! 

It's just.. They had all been so tense and, even though the team were oblivious to it, they actively sought out Lance as a punching bag to let off some air. Thinking about it,he realizes it was stupid, so he made his way to Lances room, mentally preparing an apology in his head.

Hunk knocked on the door, softly. But there was no reply. He knocked again, a tad bit louder now, "Lance?" Again and again and again. "Lance?!" Hunk got tired of knocking and went to Shiro, who was sitting in an armchair as he watched Keith and Pidge talk about some conspiracy theory over food too.

"Shiro?" Said man turned to look at him, metallic arm supporting his chin.

"Yeah Hunk?" 

"Can you break down the door to Lances room, he's not responding." Hunk watched Shiro visibly grimace as remnants of anger at the Blue paladin came up.

"I'd rather not.." Shiro said with gritted teeth, trying to keep out his anger when Pidge contributed.

"I'll do it! Well,- not breaking down a door, but I can hack it!" She said proudly, Keith chucking beside her. Hunk gave a forced smile.

"Ok, well, c'mon guys." The paladins moved in unison, making their way down a familiar hallway. When they made it to the door , Pidge placed a tiny chip in the lockpad,  which overrid the system and opened the door for her. Hunk was going to praise her. When he smelt it, the smell of putrid decomposition. Then he saw it, tan arms cut into a bloodied mess and blue eyes empty.

"Lance?" Keith softly said from beside him, but he didn't hear anything but a hazy static over his ears.

"Oh my God .." She placed her hands over her mouth in disgust. Hunk kneeled down to, shaking Lance, but for no avail.

"Lance?! Wake up! Wake up!" No response. Shiro knelt down beside him, careful to avoid getting drenched in blood as he placed his ear over Lances heart. Shiro felt tears prickel at the base of his eyes.

"No pulse, not even a faint one. Hes.. He gone guys.." it was like a chain reaction, Hunk bawled and Pidge sobbed while Keith cried silent tears and Shiro sniffed as they carried Lances body into the pod.

Pidge was the first one to loose it, she broke down in a bundle of limps, rocking herself beakc and forth as if she was in shock, which. She probably was.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye.."

* * *

The team never realized how much their blue paladin contributed to the team, not only in the battlefield, but off it as well. It was only when dinners become devoid of life and breakdowns became a norm did they realize.

Keith was sick of it, he needed answers as the why Lance, Lance McClain, did something like take his own life. His frustrations took itself out on the simulators, but they stopped working after a while, so, he cut his arm again and again. It was driving him insane, how just the mention of his name would make them all shut down.

Keith opened the door, the scent of blood still lingered and the bed was still unmade. Keith looked around, when he saw a desk in the corner. In the desk were pictures, of family, family he didn't get to return to. What really caught his eye was the leather journal placed neatly among the relatively messy pile. He opened it up, eyes swelling up with tears as he recognized the handwriting. The journal started off well,then the entries became little to none, then the entries picked up again, with sloppy handwriting and tear stains on the pages. Keith flipped through pages before he landed on the last few, how Lance was suffering from this.. _abuse_ they had all unconsciously put him through. 

The last few words would be a nail for his coffin as the most chilling and meaningful he's ever heard.

**Space is cold**

The cuts on his arm seemed to all reopen, sending chills down his spine as he threw the leather book onto the ground, chest heaving up and down.

_I didn't even get to say goodbye._

 


End file.
